It is the morning after, I’m currently hiding in my bedroom since the cleaner came in and I feel too guilty about the warzone that is my flat right now. I heard her sigh when she opened the door, her pain seeps through the walls while she vacuums a million tiny plastic stars off the floor.
While I eat a piece of red velvet cake for breakfast I’ll elaborate on some of the things I’ve learned in my years of life so far. Let us commence.
One, don’t pick up the phone, you know he is only calling when he’s drunk and alone. Two, clichés are true, don’t dismiss them so quickly. Do yourself a favour and try to extract some wisdom from them, millions have come before you.
Next up on the list of utter importance: friendship. While Hollywood likes us to believe that the only love that carries any significance emerges in the shape of a six-packed, puppy-eyed man, there is more to the story. Invest your time in people that add to your life, shower them in devotion and dare to be vulnerable.
While we are still driving through soppy town, let’s touch on self-love: practice it daily. Furthermore, integrate broccoli into your life, it is high in fibre and B6.
Last, but not least, take risks. While it might feel like a lot of your life has already been planned out due to societies preferences for steady careers, marriages and kids, you don’t have to adhere.
Make a list with every wild untrainable dream you have and chase them relentlessly. It is how this birthday girl ended up in Scotland, hiding from the cleaner, writing this column.
The sky is the limit.