Credit: Emma Simper

10 signs you might be suffering from Christmas withdrawal

7 mins read

On December 26, my family was in the car on the way home from the cinema when my dad casually reported that, “Oh yeah, we’ll have to take the decorations off the tree tonight because it’ll get picked up tomorrow morning.”

I’m sorry, what?

It was literally THE DAY after Christmas, where’s my adjusting period? I wasn’t, and am still not, ready to let go just yet.

How can society expect us to quite literally count down to what is generally regarded as the largest franchised holiday of the year, and then expect us to move on, no strings attached, the day after it’s over?

One thing that always makes me feel at ease is knowing that others are on the same page as I am. Like when you know you should have started an assignment ages ago but didn’t, so you routinely message your friends asking if they’ve started, in order to justify your own lack of effort and reassure yourself that at least you won’t be suffering alone.

Well, this is kind of like that. Here is a list of 10 disappointing scenarios that hopefully you can relate to if you too are struggling with Christmas withdrawal.

1. The sudden change in diet

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You feel like an entire food group has been eliminated from your diet now that cookies are no longer ‘acceptable’ at all times of the day, nor readily available in colourful tins scattered across the kitchen counter.

2. Buddy-the-elf level overcompensation

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You start remembering all the Christmassy things you said you wanted to do this year and realise that you barely managed half of it. You wonder whether it would be lame to build a gingerbread house by yourself?

3. OCWD: obsessive compulsive wrapping disorder

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You feel like surely there’s something you should be wrapping that you haven’t already. Surely this can’t be it – what are you going to do with all your extra Santa-themed wrapping paper?

4. How come January is so close to December, but December is so far from January?

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Christmas was like a nice safe blanket of holiday spirit and good food, covering you from all the things you said you would get around to next year. With Christmas now in the rear view mirror, all those obligations, deadlines, and stupid healthy New Year’s resolutions suddenly seem just a bit too close.

5. Silent night, too silent

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You find your previously popular song choices being shot down by friends and family. Skip, skip, skip – I mean if they didn’t already have Spotify premium they should probably invest with that Grinch-like attitude.

6. Faint light is the best light

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All of a sudden the lighting fixtures around the house seem a lot brighter and harsher. What happened to the faint, flattering glow of the endless strings of fairy lights? Not only are they good for adjusting to the light in the mornings, but ideal for selfies, and of course, contacting the upside down.

7. Sales: “Look, look, discounts, buy more presents!” Bank Account: “No”

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Shopping has become ridiculously boring; not only because you’re most likely especially low on funds, but now everything is supposed to be practical. Ugly Christmas sweaters are deemed unnecessary, impromptu dress purchases for holiday parties too frivolous, and forget about the “accidental” self-bought, early Christmas present. It’s harder than you might think to justify spending when you weren’t already spending on others to begin with. Back to milk and toilet paper it is, oh and those cheap plastic bags because clearly gift wrapping is out of the question now too.

8. Just smile and nod, smile and nod

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The general population just seems to have gotten grouchier. As soon as stores open after Boxing Day, it’s no longer “Oh thank you for your help! Hope you have a lovely Christmas!” but “This gift was all wrong, I need my money back, and could the service be any slower?” The exhaustion of the holidays has finally gotten to them, and they can’t believe that Uncle Ben got Sarah the Frozen themed backpack and not the Moana one. I mean, come on, everybody knows that Frozen is so 2015. *insert eye roll and sassy hand tipping emoji*

9. Lack of breakfast sugar

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What do we count down to now? Don’t think I can find an advent calendar with 360 days – oh and while we’re on the subject, does this mean no more little chocolates at breakfast?

10. Pre-emptive puppy seperation stress

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Even though you may have gotten on each other’s nerves with all the quality family time the holidays bring, you know that with Christmas over, soon enough you’ll have to leave the nest yet again. Leaving parents and siblings behind is one thing, but pets is another level. You can’t exactly FaceTime your pet to tell them you miss them, believe me I’ve tried and she doesn’t really get it. I love my flatmates and all, but you don’t see them jumping up the door when I come home at the end of the day.

To sum up, stay strong friends, Christmas will come around again! Til then just try to resist the urge to yell out,

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in a public place.

It’s embarrassing.

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