My perfect wedding proposal would be a ring covered in melted cheese in a cake of cheese in a world of cheese. I should note that I am allergic to dairy; my life is particularly challenging.
As I’m of Dutch descent, my life revolves around dairy products. In fact, I wouldn’t even be surprised to find out my DNA is actually made of gouda.
If you think me and my love of cheese is like any other regular cow milk lover, I am here to prove you wrong. I once made a PowerPoint presentation about melted cheese for a university module; I got a first.
My allergy to cheese is not one that has been around forever. I remember the dreadful day I walked into my GP’s office three years ago. The second he mentioned the words dairy and allergy in one single sentence, my milky heart broke. I have never fully recovered.
You might wonder why I decided to share this bodily insight with you, the reader. See, sometimes, the thing you love most is not always the thing that is best for you.
While binge watching just a few more Friends episodes might sound like a great idea, that deadline is tomorrow. Yes, he is hot and makes you feel like a million bucks but be honest with yourself. Would you bring him home to meet mummy? And no, another shot of tequila is not always a great idea.
Don’t get me wrong, I subscribe to a highly impulsive ‘live now, worry later’ attitude. I will buy that cream-filled cake or extra cheese pizza, but by now I have to admit the consequences do not live up to those five minutes of taste bud goodness.
It wasn’t until Will Smith’s latest Insta story hit me with some old-fashioned life advice: “self-discipline equals self-love”. I had to be honest, the fresh prince was right. By leaving the cheese on the shelf I truly show love to my glorious self.
It’s been four days. Besides the withdrawal symptoms and dreams about chocolate-covered cheese puffs dipped in Ben and Jerry’s, I’m hanging in there. I know my body is having a great time; my mind will catch up soon enough.