Hung-over like a horse

4 mins read

Have you never heard of water? Look at yourself, lying there all day. It’s dark out now, the crows are crowing and cawing, and you still feel like apple mash. Let us help you how to avoid that next time, no matter how crazy the night gets.

The first step to any cure is prevention. If you are not able to bring a body flask to town filled with water, make sure the first thing you do when you stagger through your door is chug a whole bottle (500ml) of water. Wash your face to avoid waking up crusty, and then go straight to sleep. The face-washing step is almost crucial to feeling better in the morning. 

The next thing is going to hurt more than any of the shots you took the night before, but it will make you feel so much better. When you wake up, take your time in bed, but no more than 45 minutes, then get yourself up, stretch your arms up to the sky, down to your feet and exhale. 

Put on your slippers or fluffy socks, make your way to the kitchen, grab the apple cider vinegar, open it, pour some into the cap, and down it like a shot. If you have a juicer or a powerful blender, you boujee student, you, then here is a hotter nutrient-bomb. Grab a knot of ginger, small block of shredded carrot, half a cup of water, and a cap-size splash of apple cider vinegar. If you don’t have apple cider vinegar, use regular vinegar – yes, this will be brutal, but you need to face the consequences of your actions to keep yourself feeling and looking great through the years. Blend it up, and chug it down. If the hangover did not appall you from drinking again, this just might – and it will make you feel better; what a two-in one. 

Credit: The Independent

Reminder: this advice comes from someone who is 23, has had two hangovers in their entire life, and still passes for fifteen on trains and in amusement parks: so buckle up, soldier. If you don’t have apple cider vinegar, and your local grocer has it on the shelves, put on outdoor shoes and hobble down there to get some of it. I know Tesco stocks it for really cheap because barely anyone uses it, yet. The smartest thing to do would be to stock up before you go out, so you don’t need to make an awkward walk of shame to the store in your jammies looking like death. 

Keep drinking water throughout the day! Drink so much water, that you need the bathroom every two hours. The final step to curing your hangover, is to rest without wasting away. You need to meditate, drink tea, coffee, go to the gym and do light cardio or book a Pilates class at the gym, stretch, study, watch your favourite show on Netflix, or do something you feel will get you back on track without making you cold-sweat. Doing what you feel like, but also taking care of your body after punching it in the gut, is a very delicate balance, so if you keep this in mind, your hangover will be non-existent soon. 

Featured image credit: BBC

Welcome to my hectic, mixed world. I lack bias like it is a disease. Former Editor at Brig Newspaper, Psychology & English student, autoimmune.

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