Space robots debate dominates start of union meeting

Stirling Students’ Union officers will not have to take a vow declaring they are not space robots following events at a union meeting.

The first 25 minutes of the union’s general meeting was dominated by a motion to have the proposed policy returned to the meeting’s agenda.

The proposer of the motion challenged a decision by the chair, Union President Amy Smith, to remove the motion and called for a vote on whether it should be debated.

The satirical motion would have seen Sabbatical Officers have to take an oath to humanity to vow that they are not robots from space, that they are not part of a robot takeover, and that they will remain vigilant in the fight against evil space robots.

Addressing the non-serious nature of the proposal, the motion added that pandemic fatigue is real and “we could all do with a laugh.”

After the motion failed, the student proposing the motion said that “the space robots would be rejoicing today”.

“Disappointed to see that the vote on the chair challenge was not decided based on the actual constitutional validity of the chair’s decision to originally exclude the motion from the GM, but by the way people felt about the motion prior to any real debate. This was improper both constitutionally and democratically”.

Previously the motion was removed by union staff following concerns its wording unintentionally contained anti-semitic tropes, leading to it being changed from lizards to space robots.

Several students spoke against a debate on officers being space robots, with one describing it as “attention-seeking” and another saying it was a “ridiculous waste of time” considering there being more serious motions also on the agenda.

Another added their frustration about the time taken on this motion after the proposer described it as a bit of a joke.

“If you’re over the age of 12, this isn’t funny”, they said.

Other students were supportive of the motion, with one describing the proposer as “the last great patter merchant”.

Humanity has made no contact with evil space robots or has any knowledge of their existence. There is no doubt of the humanity of the Stirling Students’ Union sabbatical officers.