Judging by the title, I know what you might be thinking: who is this 23-year-old girl to give advice on such a complex topic? To that, I can only say that I am one of you, and you are perhaps also wondering how to make intimate moments more unforgettable and special. Here are some tips and tricks on how to achieve that.
Know yourself deeply
I believe that the saying “ know yourself deeply so you can understand others” has been going around for ages. However, it could not be more accurate.
The number one thing that will make your intimate time with your partner more valuable is having a strong sense of the idea of who you are. Now, I am not saying you should have an exact idea of your life purpose. Nonetheless, having a rough idea of what you value, what triggers you, what brings you joy, and what does not.
This will allow you to stand still if someone new comes and goes since you already are a whole content human being on your own. Non-attachment to external things or another person can really create obstacles and intrude on our peace. I would sum this up by stating that knowing that you will be okay no matter who comes and goes, you always have good relationships with yourself and those who happen to be around you in a certain period of your life.
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What are you looking for in others?
I recently read an article where one was encouraged to list around six things that they seek in a partner. Make a list of a few qualities that you absolutely, unconditionally need in a partner.
Additionally, it is a good idea to make a list of things you are willing to tolerate if this person does not resemble these things. We all come with flaws, hence we should be open-minded to grow and let the other person grow as well. Essentially, the bar should not be on the floor when seeking a partner but also, it is appropriate to ask yourself, can I provide what I require?
Communication is necessary
When entering a new relationship, I cannot stress enough how crucial it is to communicate your needs and expectations. I often feel like lack of communication creates so many misunderstandings that could have been avoided if we simply spoke our minds.
By that I mean talk about the weird stuff, uncomfortable taboo topics, what you like in bed, and what you do not like. This will possibly make the connection even stronger and the intimate time more energetically stimulating after you get to it later when you both feel ready. Essentially, what do you want this beautiful companionship to be?
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How do you feel?
One crucial thing that I feel gets oftentimes omitted is our feelings.
Notice whether or not your body feels safe, loved, and nourished. Are there any tensions in your muscles? Do you watch what you say or can you be your true, authentic self? Our beautiful vessels, that is our bodies, will always let you know if something is off.
It is not unusual to also fall sick often when being in a relationship that does not feel right. Being with another person should be easy. Of course, you will both have to put some work into working as partners, and do not get me wrong, that takes a lot of effort. However, being together, being in each other’s presence, should be the easiest, safest, and most beautiful state.
I do not deem myself to be an expert on this topic, however, I do believe that once we stay true to ourselves and let ourselves be vulnerable with others, we can definitely make the whole experience of dating sensual, and much more valuable. And who knows, perhaps these ways will help us discover new parts of the personalities we have yet to explore.
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