I was born in Cork, Ireland but was moved around a lot as a kid, finally settling in one of the deeply religious and judgmental towns called Dunmanway. I found it so difficult to photograph there. I felt as if an invisible weight was halting my hand, it was as if I had become the prying eye in my own past life. It felt as if I wasn’t supposed to be there.
I wanted to photograph my found family in Ireland. I photographed my best friend of 11 years, Evan, in their favourite places in Dunmanway in which there were very limited options – the town I lived in for most of my childhood and teenage years.
There were so many setbacks during that trip that made it so difficult to photograph. It was storming for basically the whole trip. I managed to get photos with a very large waterproof jacket thrown over me and my camera, as well as a bribe to Evan so he wouldn’t complain about being wet.
The photos themselves came out almost exactly like I had them in my head. They are slightly under exposed to get that dark, stormy feel and the coldness that I’ve always felt growing up there. I just never felt understood as well as the isolation living in such a small town comes with.
Since coming back from Ireland I needed to wait till the weather picked up a bit in Stirling. I wanted the images to have a bright summery feel to them, that warmth to be felt by the viewer, the warmth I feel while being here in Scotland. I feel as if I’ve found a home in Scotland, somewhere I’ve only been living for six years.
Photographing my friends here was so easy. The only thing that held me back a little bit was the forgetfulness of my friends. I managed to wrangle them into doing a shoot by suggesting going to King’s Park, a big open green space in Stirling.
I ran straight at the opportunity to say “hey, we’re out right now, mind if I get a shot?” This rejogged their memory that we discussed shooting plans and then by them also already being out they didn’t need to get distracted by having to get ready to leave the comfort of their beds.
Growing up in Ireland I had a little too much room, I was very alone. For the photos in Ireland, I wanted to give the models space but not light; everything needs both to thrive. In the photos from Scotland, I’ve given the models space and light. I wanted to show how that is present by adding space around the models as well as making sure the lighting is bright and warm.
For the stills images I wanted to create a domestic feel and for the buildings a tie to the church. I was made to go there nearly every Sunday. I never liked church much growing up, it always felt so judgmental. I was getting that enough from other places, I didn’t need it on the days that were meant to be fun. On more than one occasion my grandma would pay me to go to church and behave. However, the routine was comforting as I knew once this was over, I got a fiver and dinner (Irish dinner time being at 1pm).
Now every Sunday I go to my favourite pub in all of Stirling at Nicky Tams. My friends and I go and do the best pub quiz ever hosted by the most amazing quizmaster Matt. He’s a local celebrity to us, almost like a priest to a small Parish town. At the end of every quiz, I know I’ll get a bag of sweets and a good fuzzy feeling (not from the drink) leaving my friends after a great night out.
Featured image credit: Ciara Tait
I am a student photographer! I study photography at forth valley Stirling
My photography Instagram is @the_spirit_of_photography_
