Being in a new environment, alone and friendless, is terrifying. The first few weeks of Freshers, where people float around you in a cycle of revolving acquaintances, makes picking out a potential friend very difficult.
It can be easy to latch on to the first person who was nice to you, but they may not always be the right fit for you. The friends you make in Freshers Week, unfortunately, don’t often last long.
So, how do you go from talking to people in a seminar or sitting next to someone in a lecture, to an actual, fulfilling friendship? It is different for everyone, but here are a few tidbits of advice to help you navigate the fragile social life of Freshers.
Don’t force anything! It can be easy to stay with the first group of people you meet, even when you feel out of place. Maybe they all knew each other coming in, or maybe they just don’t feel right, but you would rather be uncomfortable than alone. We’ve all been there, I promise. This is normal, but don’t feel like you have to force a friendship that doesn’t work for you – there are hundreds of freshers just like you, in need of company, so play the field until you meet someone who makes you feel like yourself again.
Be brave, take initiative. Asking someone to hang out is scary, I know, but unfortunately it is a key factor in making friends outside of classes. Having that confidence will change your university experience. I was drunk with a hometown friend when I messaged a girl from my seminar to ask if she wanted to grab a drink together, and we ended up living together the next year. Maybe I needed that little bit of liquid courage, but in the end the bravery worked, and a girl I thought was nice in class became a good friend.
Good things come to those who persist. Ask to go for coffee after a lecture. Ask if they want to study together. Catch up when you haven’t seen each other. All good friendships require maintenance. You can make friends for life at university if you put in the work.
Ultimately everyone experiences Freshers Week differently, and maybe the people you meet on night one are the people for you; but if you are one of the many who feel dreadfully alone, don’t fret. You won’t feel this way forever, your people are out there.
Featured Image Credit: Kerry Lloyd
This article featured in the first-ever printed edition of BRAW Magazine, Close Encounters. You can read more of our Close Encounters articles here.