Disclaimer: This is not meant to be insensitive to the events. I understand the significance of the French crown jewels and the impacts of them being stolen. This is just for a bit of fun.
The French Crown Jewels were stolen from the Louvre museum in Paris recently. The suspected theives have been arrested, and memes and comedy sketches of the debacle are breaking the internet. From Halloween costumes to Louvre detective videos, people are finding this all quite funny. So, I am going to break down what I would wear if I was lucky enough to own the French crown jewels.
The Empress Eugenie Tiara
A tiara this beautiful is not for wearing to the shops or to impress the neighbours while taking the bins out. This piece is fit for an opera or another formal event. With the pearls and diamonds I imagined dark blue and traces of silver. Something like Anastasia’s opera dress from the film Anastasia (1997). I cannot imagine wearing this casually so for the tiara, I think I would wear it to a fantasy ball or as part of a cosplay.
Moodboard for the Empress Eugenie Tiara. Image credit – Isla Barker
Regardless of the ocassion I think opera gloves would be perfect with the rest of the pieces. They’re elegant and sleek, as well as timeless.
For the shawl, I thought a solid silver would match the diamonds as opposed to a clear shawl. The shawl is mainly to draw the eye towards the rest of the outfit as the tiara will steal the show.
The shoes bookend the look with their bejewelled edges. They are not so flash that they look garish or pull focus from the tiara, but also not so plain that they do not bring any merit to the outfit. The tasteful decor is a perfect balance that adds a bright contrast from the darker dress.
Empress Marie Louise’s emerald necklace and earrings
I have never had my ears pierced but I would for Empress Marie Louise’s earrings. I imagine a glorious actress in the golden age of Hollywood wearing these on a boat in an iconic scene. Marilyn Monroe would kill wearing emeralds. The deep green and bright silver would perfectly blend with the sun reflecting off the gentle waves of the sea.
Assuming I have the stolen Louvre jewels I probably also have the time to chill on a boat whenever I feel like it. If I am not running from the law that is.
Moodboard for Empress Marie Louise’s necklace and earrings. Image credit – Isla Barker.
The teal shorts are practical and are a deeply toned comparison with the water. Teal and green create an oceanic scene that is calming and powerful.
A white top suits this outfit best as the light colour complements the rest of the outfit and does not draw too much attention from the jewels. Not that much could. A flowy top on a boat also feels breezy and cools you down.
To add a bit of zing to the lower half of the outfit, I chose sandals with understated but noticeable decoration. The ankle support is also practical and aesthetically pleasing.
Since I imagine this outfit appearing in a scene from an old film, round and brown sunglasses give the ensemble a vintage feeling.
The “reilquary” brooch
The “reilquary” brooch is beautiful and simple. So, I would wear it with a black suit. Black is soothing tasteful and elegant; and suits are as versatile as the colour. As for the event, I would wear this to a party, perhaps to aquire more priceless jewellery.
Moodboard for the “reliquary” brooch. Image credit – Isla Barker
I love waistcoats. They can work as a formal or semi-formal addition to an outfit and I think they look best with my sleeves rolled up. I firmly believe everyone looks good in a waistcoat. Just as how every woman looks good in a sundress.
I do not especially like thin heels so dress shoes felt more fitting. Black leather shoes are formal and would make me feel confident. The brogues pattern brings more to the monochromatic outfit.
The bracelet brings a pop of colour but still stays consistent with the rest of the pieces. A rope design is rustic but still stylish.
Queen Marie Amelie’s tiara, necklace and earrings
From the earrings to the necklace, Queen Marie Amelie’s jewellery would look its best at a picnic. This outfit’s flowy and adaptable components elevate the beauty of the jewels and complement each other.
Mood board for Queen Marie Amelie’s sapphires. Image credit – Isla Barker
The grey shirt is loose and comfortable for lying on the grass, whether under the sun or the typical Scottish overcast.
Mid-length skirts are pieces which feel casual but are also regal without sacrificing flexibility.
Dark blue contrasts with the light blue skirt and the diamonte bands on the front connect with the diamonds and sapphires.
Bluebells are one of Scotland’s most memorable flowers and herald the return of spring and warmth that welcomes picnics. This bag adds character to the outfit beyond the crown jewels. As well as an accent piece, you can fit a picnic blanket and dozens of sandwiches.
Bluebell bag Bianca Williams Design
The Empress Eugenie Brooch
The brooch immediately made me imagine a crystal coquette ensemble. Instead of staying within the silver aesthetic I think this brooch would match with pink. You cannot have a coquette outfit without pink and this understated piece, (in comparison to the others) would draw intrigue with its contrast to the bright colours. I would wear the Empress Eugenie Brooch to enjoy a cup of tea and a cake.
Moodboard for the Empress Eugenie Brooch. Image credit – Isla Barker
Turtlenecks are not typically in coquette outfits but I stand by my turtlenecks with this one. What is not to like about a turtleneck?
When it comes to skirts, even with stockings or socks, I like longer ones. A knee length skirt still fits the coquette aesthetic and elongates the look to draw the eye.
Pink stockings are cute and add even more colour to this bright and feminine collage. With the bows and frilly socks of coquette outfits, the brooch suits the addition of baby pink stockings.
Flowers are a staple in coquette aesthetics and floral shoes capture the hyperfeminine and gentle colours so well. The pink flowers fit with the rest of the outfit and the white provides a neutral backdrop to make the small floral details stand out.
Featured image credit: Isla Barker
Third year journalism student. 2025/2026 Lifestyle and Comment Editor at Brig. Published in The Yucatán Times, Mi Campeche and The Mourning Paper. Host of From the 40s with Air3Radio.
