Summary
Discussion of how I feel as an asexual person on Valentines Day
With Valentine’s Day on the horizon, love is in the air. My social media feeds are bursting at the seams with post after post of couples content and the inevitable doom-scrolling has come in full-force. Red and pink hearts have invaded the shelves of supermarkets. Rom-coms are everywhere.
I love the concept of Valentine’s Day, but recently it has conjured up some unique feelings within me. An odd discomfort I struggle to explain. What was once a sweet daydream, imagining dates and gifts has now become a source of a confusing ache. This, I believe, is linked to my sexuality.
I identify as asexual which is defined as a lack of sexual attraction towards others. It acts as an umbrella term for various other sexualities and identities. It isn’t the same for everyone, however, personally sex isn’t something I am interested in.
This fact about myself didn’t bother me at first but as a grow older and more and more people around me are entering into relationships. My own longing is never far from my mind.
On the surface, Valentine’s Day is a very simple, innocent holiday celebrating couples. But given how intricately linked romance and sex by society it is difficult to imagine this for myself. A whole world of connection I feel outside of.
While the majority of these feelings are my own insecurities, romantic relationships are often put on a pedestal or viewed as fundamental aspect of being human. This innocent holiday starts feeling a lot less innocent and instead acts as another isolating factor.
However, Valentine’s Day isn’t going anywhere. It isn’t realistic to assume deep cultural ideals will change overnight but it is important to remind myself of what I can control.
Friendships, family, all of the relationships I cherish and the people I love. These platonic relationship are just us or even more so important to me than any romantic ones and they should be celebrated in the same way.
So this Valentine’s, I may not have a date or receive a bouquet of flowers but I will be surrounded by friends who I love deeply and who I know love me in return.
Featured Image Credit: Pexels.com
