Summary
Abby Frett, who works at Stirling Baptist Church's community programme, The Haven, explains what it's like to be on the other side of a therapy session, how faith interacts with mental health, and how her glamorous assistant, Linda the Cocker Spaniel, helps with children's counselling.
In the UK, nearly a third of adults have sought mental health from a counsellor or psychotherapist in the past year. How do counsellors manage to look after themselves in such an intense job? Abby Frett, a counsellor based in Glasgow, spoke to me about how she manages her own mental health, how her own religious faith factors into this, and her community work in Stirling.
“A lot of it is, ‘woah’”, as a reaction to Abby telling people her job, mostly due to her age. “I’m in my twenties, that’s all I’ll say” because Abby doesn’t disclose her age with her clients.
“I think people think that it’s heavy 24/7, but people forget that I’m trained in certain situations, like some people worry that they’re a burden when they open to me, but I just have to remind them, that that’s my job.”
She adds that there’s a less compassionate side to the job.
“Sometimes people see it as an opportunity to open up and, this is where boundaries come in, I don’t have the capacity to listen. When I’m having a day off and wanting to chill and someone wants to tell me about their issues just because they hear that I’m a therapist, it’s not exactly how I want to spend my day off.”
An at-first reluctant graduate from the University of Glasgow, having visited on a rainy day when applying to universities and initially dismissing the idea of attending, Abby holds a degree in Theology and Religious Studies. With that, what made her want to be a counsellor?
“I didn’t.”
Having struggled with her “own traumas”, many people had suggested to Abby to become a counsellor, but she disagreed, despite being described as “knowledgeable, talkative, gentle, and compassionate” by those who know her. But in a flurry of panic about what she could do when she graduated, she found an email about an in-person foundation certificate course for counselling in 2020. So why not? After securing a spot, Abby loved the course from day one, and this is where her faith comes into things. Abby had said no to Glasgow, and she’d said no to counselling, but she ended up with it anyway.
“It doesn’t really work saying no to God, his plans are much bigger than you can imagine.” She continued: “For me, my faith is everything, you can’t control everything about your life, but there’s that sense that I’m not alone, knowing God is with me in every step”.
With Abby’s close connection to her faith, she also offers Christian counselling, and on what that means, Abby explained that her “main approach is for clients to come as they are, I’m not here to judge them. Regardless of their beliefs, my practice is a safe place for all.” When it comes to what Christian therapy involves, “it’s different for everyone”, and only 5% of her clients request it.
“It’s more just if someone is a Christian and wants faith in the room, but I still let the client lead. You just have to be so aware, because faith looks different for everyone, and someone may be in counselling because they’ve been hurt by faith.”
As I ask these personal, somewhat pressing questions, Abby is cool and calm, focusing on cutting out smiley faces for the homework club, which is hosted at The Haven. Founded in 2008, The Haven is a community centre and was founded in 2013 in an area where child poverty was at 29%, 15% higher than Stirling as a whole. Abby volunteers there, helping with homework club, and starting “The Lighthouse Club” for primary school-age children.
“I’ve always been passionate about the generation of kids, it’s always felt like my purpose to reach them and help them wherever I can”, as leading the children’s ministry at her home church in Glasgow is what Abby’s most proud of.
Regarding children’s counselling, Abby tells me: “You don’t actually need a qualification to do children and young people’s counselling, you can just go straight into schools, so I get a lot of enquiries from parents because of how bad counselling is in schools. That and they hear I’ve got a therapy dog”.
Linda, the five-year-old cocker spaniel, is an enthusiastic participant in group and play therapy at the local primary school and nursery.
“We take her with the primary ones and twos, and we talk about feelings. In the afternoon we take her to the nursery, and we work with kids who’ve had a rougher start to life, and they learn to be gentle with Linda”.
The children there are her number one fans.
“She runs into the school, where they have a treat box for her, and she knows exactly where she is”. As for the nursery, “she knows when the kids are coming down the stairs and starts wagging her tail”.
She’s so popular, that Abby is known to the kids as “Linda’s Mum”. “None of them know my name, they just know Linda’s name.”
As I sit across from Abby, I ask those around her how they feel about her, and I’m met with:
“She’s very good at banging on about running marathons, then running marathons, then recovering from the running a marathon”.
An affectionate dig, I think it’s a sign of resilience. If life is a marathon, then Abby’s seen some steep hills, and not just the one on the walk up to The Haven. But like that literal hill, she keeps going and encourages others that they can make it up the hill too. It helps when you’ve got a companion like Linda the dog, but sat across from her, I can’t help but see the quiet strength that shines through Abby, and how as both a counsellor and a human being, she shares that strength with others, whether that is faith-based or not.
Read more of Brig’s therapy advice and insights here.
Featured Image Credit: Mylene Herd
4th year Politics and Journalism student.
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The Herald Student Press Awards Columnist Of The Year 2024 (which sorry i’m still not over)
