We have all seen them. We have all hated them. Hallmark movies are probably the one thing you can count on hating, but you keep going back for more in the hopes that maybe this one will be better than the last. Through time, they become a guilty pleasure… You know what you’re going to get in watching them, but you just can’t help yourself; it’s so much fun hating every second of the film that you can’t take your eyes off the screen. Hallmark films are almost formulaic, and making one seems fairly simple… To prove it, here is a step-by-step guide to making a Hallmark movie.
1. The Main Character
First, you will need to consider the characters for your film. The main character is usually a woman, though you can of course change this if you wish to disrupt the equilibrium of the Hallmark universe. They need to be displaced: perhaps they have had to move to the town where they grew up, after inheriting an old home or business. Maybe they’ve moved to a small town for work, as they let their job consume them, and have no time for festivities. They might start the film loving Christmas, wanting to celebrate the holidays with their partner, but when the couple splits up, they lose the Christmas spirit.
What’s important is that your character does not like Christmas, or feels that it has lost the magic in recent years, that people don’t celebrate it as they used to. Alternatively, they could be absolutely obsessed with Christmas, and they have to teach others to embrace the Christmas spirit. No matter which character it is, someone has to hate Christmas!
2. Side Characters
Now, for your love interest. As much as you may want the film not to include a romance, you must remember that this is a Hallmark film, and romance is synonymous with Christmas in this world. Your love interest will be an integral member of the community, who takes an immediate interest in the lead character, but something prevents them from feeling the same at first… Perhaps a distant partner they refuse to admit is the wrong fit? Are they doting on someone else? The characters just can’t be together; they’ve both sworn off dating! But the chemistry is undeniable, and over the course of the film they will start to realise this.
One of these leading characters must be played by an actor who, despite success in their youth, hasn’t quite been able to replicate the success in recent years. Repeat offenders in this genre are Chad Michael Murray, Vanessa Hudgens and Lacey Chabert.
For side characters, it’s very important that there is someone with a suspiciously Christmassy name. I’m talking an old lady called Carol or Noël, a man called Nick, or an Angel sent on a mission called Gabe… You know, like the Angel Gabriel?
3. Plot
As mentioned previously, the main character often has to move to a small town. They will attempt to fit in, restoring their life to the way it was. This could be by taking over the family business or renovating an old building. Often, they will need to ‘save’ something, such as a town treasure or Christmas itself.
Naturally, when all is going well, something needs to go wrong. This could be that: the business meets an obstacle; the main character has to leave the small town; they realise that they’re no longer in love with their partner; their partner leaves them… The possibilities are endless, (although, they’re really not, it has to be one of these options and limited variations of these same options)!
You may also wish to have an older, male character hanging around throughout the film, prowling the streets in the background of the shot. He will need to have a long white beard and grey hair, and a slightly plump physique. He offers advice by communicating in riddles that leave the main character stumped, and winks as he walks away without explaining anything he has said. There is absolutely nothing strange about this; he is your regular small-town resident.
For the resolution of your film, the main character needs to realise that it is Christmas. They need to feel the Christmas spirit; that’s what it’s all about. The sadness caused by the issue that was presented in the second act must be forgotten, and the Christmas spirit must be restored. Everything works out in the end, the main character realises they love the love interest, and all is well. Also, the old man with the beard that mysteriously winks and seems to decide fate for everyone, he’s Santa Claus. Christmas joy and festivities ensue, we fade out on a shot of all the characters happy and warm… Merry if you will.
4. Final Touches
Now that the film is ready, it needs a title. It is absolutely necessary that this contains the word ‘Christmas’, or another of the various Christmas buzzwords, eg. merry, angel, snow etc… After all, how else will your audience be able to identify it as a Christmas film?
Finally, you need your film poster. This will be an awkward picture of your two main characters superimposed onto a picture of a Christmas tree… and maybe there’s snow. The film title will be red and in a script-type, fancy font.
5. Fin
Voilà! You have made the most agonising Christmas watch for audiences globally. Now sit back and watch as the world claws at their head but can’t turn away from your film. If you’re struggling to find inspiration for your next terrible film, then do not fret, I’m sure Chad Michael Murray will have another unbearably addictive Christmas film on the way that you can rip off!
Feature Image Credit: Hallmark
