I came out as nonbinary by slapping they/them pronouns on my Instagram page and hoping people saw it.
I wanted it to be just there with no explanation.
Over time, I have told people if asked but only really had friends ask if they paid close enough attention to my Instagram – and I did specifically tell my closest friends that:
I’m nonbinary and go by they/them.
I never had issues with telling people my sexuality, would loudly tell people when I can and want to that I am a lesbian, yet this same loudness can’t be said about how I view my gender.
Gender to me is well…gender.
My feelings towards to gender are something I have always found hard to articulate because I don’t fit into the binary system of gender – even nonbinary being made somewhat of a third gender by society is something I find uncomfortable.
The easiest way to describe it is if gender, for myself, could be non-existent, I would be happy.
I know this isn’t something that everyone would enjoy; gender can be murky and a lot of people enjoy the binary nature of gender (honestly, more people are comfortable with that from what I can see than with being nonbinary).
It is one of those areas in life where not one size fits all. Hell, asking for pronouns could make people uncomfortable even though that is something I would prefer.
This International Pronouns Day, which is every year on the third Wednesday of October since 2018, I think it is important to remember to be aware of respecting pronouns and not make it a huge deal (even when making mistakes, fix it in the moment and then move on!) to make the trans people in your life more comfortable.
And don’t use they/them pronouns after someone tells you they are she/her or he/him – that’s still misgendering! I have noticed it is common for people to misgender trans binary people once they specify either going by she/her or he/him by throwing in they/them pronouns, similar to people misgendering nonbinary people by sticking to pronouns that they present as (something I am familiar with as I present quite femininely.)
Going forward, I’m going to be a bit more confident in letting people knwo that I’m nonbinary, rather than just assuming that they’ll check my Instagram for pronouns floating next to my profile picture.
Featured Image Credits: Photo by Kaia Sweetman
Braw Editor 2026/2027
Comment Editor 2025/2026
3rd Year History and Journalism Studies student
