by Iona Young and Harry McArthur
Comment Editor Iona Young: Why love deserves a chance
The Greeks described love through several types. The first and most commonly applied to relationships is Eros, named after the Greek god of sexual attraction. Just like the god it is named after, Eros is the first stage of utter infatuation you feel when you first fall for somebody; the stage before the smitten feelings eventually wear off and you are left to see if you really like each other enough to get through the irritating habits and fruitless arguments.
Once you get through that, your first love is the hardest to get over. I had your typical disastrous on/off relationship which lasted nearly three years. The heartbreak I experienced after this relationship is the hardest I have experienced to this day. I spent years getting over my first love, wondering why we didn’t get that fairy tale ending you are brought up to believe actually exists.
On the other hand, you will get to experience it from the other side. There will be plenty of times where you think you like somebody, then don’t hit it off. This can be hurtful when it happens from either side, especially if one person isn’t upfront about their feelings. Save the hurt, be honest, and move on. Somebody can be funny, good looking and nice but just not right for you. Falling in love is probably one of the best but most emotionally consuming experiences you can have. From society’s conception of love, people are constantly craving the closeness and chemistry that comes naturally when you are in love. The great thing about that is, unlike everything else in this day and age, you can’t buy it. You can’t superficially create it. It only comes naturally when everything is right.
No matter how hard people analyse potential matches, likes and dislikes to find ‘the one’ it just doesn’t work. Countless swiping through apps where people can choose the exact picture they want you to see, this social media-soaked version of love we are used to takes away from the enchantment of falling in love. Although love may have its downfalls from the first heartbreak, I have always said I would rather go through that 100 times than never had fallen in love at all.
Editor in chief Harry McArthur: On why love sucks!
“Love is a burning thing” Johnny Cash claimed in his song Ring of fire. Being honest, I think he is spot on. Burning has many connotations- heat, fire, destruction, light; all these things could be likened to love.
Love comes in many different formats; whether it be the sports team you love, a TV show, your pets or your family. All of which have their ups and downs. However, loving another person is an entirely different kind of love.
Loving another person is some form of rollercoaster ride. But for the most part- love SUCKS.
The concept of love in itself is pure- you meet someone, fall in love, spend your life together, have a family and share everything you own and love with them. By now we should know that it is never that simple. When you spend too much time with anyone it makes you want to rip your hair out, or theirs.
Love sucks, not because love in itself is bad, but because people in general just really, really suck. Think about any relationship that you think ‘aw they are so lovely together’ WRONG, that’s what you think based on what you see. Behind closed doors, it is bickering over stupid things and blaming one another for stupid risks they never took in their lives because of their significant other. People want different things in life and if they fall in love sometimes those wants need to change. Thanks for hindering everyone’s ambitions, love.
The main reason that we don’t speak out and have a problem with love is because of how romanticised the concept of heartbreak is. Heartbreak isn’t great; it is HORRIBLE. Feeling like nothing; feeling useless because someone you were obsessed with made you feel like you weren’t good enough. That isn’t a nice feeling at all.
So the next time you watch the Titanic and see Jack drowning, don’t feel sorry for Rose because she is heartbroken, feel sorry for Jack that he fell in love with someone who was too stupid to budge up and let him on the damn raft. Don’t feel sympathy for Troy when his basketball career doesn’t take off after High School Musical 3, as he chose love over his own life.
Not every relationship sucks, and if you find the right person you will hopefully find the love and happiness you deserve. But even when you find that person they are going to annoy you or frustrate the life out of you. Maybe it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all; however, don’t force yourself into a situation where you know it will end in heartbreak. Love will always make life a mess. You just need to find the person that makes being a mess worth it.