Feel like a misfit? This is a small guide on how to find your people at university.
When I first came to university, I wanted it all. I wanted to hang out with a bunch of diverse, exciting, and new people.
Instead of focusing on what I wanted out of friendship and intimacy, I lost myself in the ocean of individuals. Mainly, I was grateful to have people that wanted to get to know me.
Here is some advice on how to learn from my mistakes. You’ll have a lot of time to make your own.
Remember that you are calling the shots.
You don’t have to hang out with everyone. Try out meeting a few new people and focus on the people you connect with the most.
Who makes you feel happy, safe, and understood?
It’s not about who wants to spend time with you, it’s about who you want around you instead.
Connect through hobbies, passions, and fandoms.
We all have different things that excite us. It could be writing, music, comics or BTS.
Whatever it is: sharing your favourite topic with other people helps you connect and find like people. It’s very common when you have a first shared interest with someone; it’s a great basis to diversify conversations into a deeper connection.
Don’t be afraid to open up.
Meeting new people can be daunting, especially after high school. You leave a place where everyone has known you for years and now you are having to re-introduce yourself to strangers. It can be a difficult step to develop from strangers to friends, but trust and intimacy will make you feel like you belong. It is the people and the environment that make you feel home.
Trust your gut feeling and take steps to open to the people that are worth it. Don’t shy away from intimacy. Don’t be afraid to walk away from people that you don’t feel comfortable around either.
Feature image credit: Emine Bahar Bora, Aysun Bora
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