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The Talk: Queer identity – the strength that comes with finding yourself

4 mins read

The discussion of queer identity is a long one. A label can either give you wings or weigh you down.

Welcome, June! Everything is full of rainbows and pride flags. All gay people are proud, and most straight people wear colours. The parades, marketing and music around pride month can be blinding towards what is the important message behind it:

Be proud of who you are. Whoever that might be.

The queer community has so many labels to offer. It can be quite confusing to find your niche in the rainbow universe.

To find your gay identity you have to be aware of your general identity first. When questioning my identity, I found myself in my deepest downfall. However, I found my sexuality after I found myself.

“The more something threatens your identity, the more you will avoid it.”

― Mark Manson. “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.”

Obviously, judgement from the outside is one of the biggest threats. The stares, whispers and assumptions about you and your behaviour can hurt.

This is why we keep secrets. We are afraid. Things that feel sacred get ruined in the light of day. The judgement of others destroys the things that we hold dear to our hearts. So we hide it away. In hope that this one thing that we love will not be touched and devalued by others.

That´s why we escape.

Another reason we hide is often denial; it turns you into someone that you’re not. It leaves you with nothing but the things that are considered to be socially acceptable. What stays is a life lived for others. In pain.

What is the solution? Clear is: action has to be taken to take back your power and autonomy.

It takes strength to find faith in yourself.

Coming out means coming into the light. It means breathing after an extended period of drowning in the sea.

Now listen closely.

Why would you drown yourself? What have you done to deserve that? And finally: what are you afraid of?

Gold has been discovered in 2600 B.C. However, a real gold hunt started after Marshall found the element in the 19th Century. The California Gold Rush began.

As you can see, gold has existed before that. It has existed after as well. The value, stability and importance of gold have stayed the same. The only thing that has changed is societal perception.

You can dig gold in mud, you can step on it, you can try to hide it in the deep sea.

Gold stays gold. Gold in the closet is not less valuable than gold in the light of day.

You don´t decide who you are. However, you decide whether you want to embrace it or hide it.

Choose for you. Choose you.

I am proud to be pansexual because I learned to be proud of the person that I am. Being queer is only one aspect of that.

I hope you are proud of yourself as well.

Happy Pride Month!

Featured Image Credit: Aysun Bora

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