Disappointing others feels bad, but nothing feels worse than disappointing yourself.
Whether that is slipping into old habits, not getting a job, failing your driver’s test or an exam – we’ve all been there.
Failing at something you really wanted to succeed at may brew some self-doubt, which usually festers into something worse: not wanting to try again. That sudden motivation that made you feel as though you could conquer the world is now gone, all because of that inner voice that keeps telling you “I can’t”.
Staying in this state for long is dangerous; lingering on only your failures eats away at your self-worth one negative comment at a time. So, how do you get out of it?
- Remember your successes
Just because you failed this time doesn’t mean you have not succeeded before. Look back on all that you have achieved – look through some of your awards, certificates, or anything you have finished that made you proud.
Perhaps ask your friends or family, too. I guarantee they have some stories up their sleeves that will make you remember how successful you really are!
Focusing on what you’re good at will recharge you with a newfound ambition and it will undoubtedly make you stronger.
- Give yourself time to breathe
You are only human, and humans fail at different things every day. Cut yourself some slack. Know that you have done your best. All you can do now is step aside for a bit, breathe and let yourself process the fact that you have failed.
After all, failure is the gateway to bigger and better opportunities, so embrace your defeat and allow it to provide you with a newer outlook.
- Talk to someone
After you have acknowledged your feelings, whether that is shame, guilt, or anger, speak to someone about them.
Keeping your feelings bottled in will keep you from moving on. Whether it’s a friend or a relative, speak to someone about what you’re feeling. You have people that care about you and want to know what’s going on; they want to help.
Speaking about it will make you lighter and it will help you regain control over your feelings.
- Find reasons to celebrate
These reasons don’t need to be anything grand – small victories are just as important! Whether that is getting out of bed, making breakfast, or going outside for a walk. Take time to reward yourself for accomplishing any successes, small or
Showing compassion to yourself will eventually help restore your confidence.
- Objectively observe the situation
When you’re ready, look back on your defeat. Think about why you failed, but try this without emotions getting in the way. Objectively try understanding what you could have done differently and what this experience has taught you.
You can also brainstorm different ways you would approach the situation if you were put in it now and how you would succeed. Doing this may make the fear of failure resurface a little, but don’t let the negative self-talk prevent you from taking a step in a different direction.
- Practice resilience
Resilience is like a muscle: you need to exercise it to make it stronger! And what better way to do that than to fail and get back up to try again?
Bouncing back after failing each time will build your confidence to unbreakable levels and you will see yourself growing more and more powerful.
- Get ready to start over
Using everything you’ve learned in this article, prepare to begin again and challenge yourself. Remember that recovering confidence doesn’t happen overnight; it takes time and effort. Learning from mistakes is critical!
Featured Image Credit: Kaiser Health News
A 22 year old aspiring writer.
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