It’s well documented that men are often more reluctant (or unable) to express their emotions than women are. Studies have shown that even since birth boys are treated differently than girls. They’re picked up less as babies, taught from a young age that “big boys don’t cry” and that they should be strong and tough. The result? A severe disconnect from their emotions, unable to truly feel what they’re feeling. Unable to talk to their loved ones about sensitive emotions without feeling awkward and embarrassed.
BAFTA Award-winning filmmaker, Duncan Cowles, explores the problem men have with their emotions, what such disconnect has caused them, and how he struggles with vulnerability too. Silent Men showcases his journey over the course of six years. The documentary is part of the Central Scotland Documentary Festival
“The awkward art of expressing emotion”
Silent Men is a project that starts in 2017 as Duncan starts to raise questions about his feelings. By filming his journey, he was forced to continue working on himself, to see it through.
When his male friends told him that they struggled to open up as they got older that scared him and he knew it was time to change.
“If you do need to hit rock bottom, make sure you bounce back up”
Over the course of six years, Duncan interviews several men and watches them hit low lows and high highs. One man, John, said to Duncan “I try not to [cry]” because his children “need to see strength from their father”.
John had attempted suicide twice when Duncan caught up with him a second time. Due to his inability to share emotions (and after a serious health scare which he kept from his family as it was an emotional topic) he split from his wife. He was out of work, feeling hopeless, and felt that he couldn’t turn to anyone as he should be strong.
Three years since his first interview, John now has a loving partner and stability in his life. “We live together, we cry together, we die together”, John said about him and his partner.
“If you do need to hit rock bottom, make sure you bounce back up,” he said.
A moving film with an important message
Duncan uses the transformation that these men undergo with their emotions to work on himself. His main goal is to tell his loved ones what they mean to him, and to express vulnerability.
Ducan himself is also the narrator for this film. He brings a comedic charisma to the screen which cuts through the hard-hitting subject matter. His personality and style of filming keep you glued to the screen as you take in the important experience he shares.
Watching him grow by following his journey is a magical experience. Duncan grips viewers’ attention from the get-go and maintains it through the duration of Silent Men. It’s an important documentary with an important message – if you have the chance, you should give it a watch.
If you or someone you know is struggling with the issues raised in this documentary or this article, visit silentmenfilm.com.
Featured Image Credit: Macrobert Arts Centre/ Silent Men
Fourth year student journalist studying Bachelor of Arts with Honours in Journalism Studies.
Words at Brig, The Daily Evergreen, Alloa Advertiser, Discovery Music Scotland, and The Mourning Paper.
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