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Agony Auncle: I feel like I’ve never orgasmed before

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Content warning: this article discusses sex.

Question: How do I know I’ve actually came? I am the owner of a vagina and feel as if I’ve never actually came before what do I do?

Answer: Try out some self-experimentation! Remember that scene with Aimee from Sex Education on Netflix where she learns how to masturbate? That’s the vibe we’re going for. Buy a new toy (I’d recommend Lovehoney for their student-friendly prices) or try out a different type of porn. Find out what feels good for you and go from there.

Aimee Lou Wood in Sex Education. Image credit: The Sun

Perhaps one of the reasons why you’ve never orgasmed before is because you’ve only ever had penetrative sex? Loads of studies have concluded that most people with vaginas are unable to finish from just penetration alone. The majority need clitoral stimulation to be able to climax, so that’s where you should be focusing your attention.

You will probably notice when you come for the first time. It’s different for everyone, but most vagina owners describe it as a full body, shiver-like sensation.

Once you’re feeling confident pleasuring yourself alone, then you can bring your potential partner back into the equation (if that’s something that you want to do). Be direct with them about what feels good for you, so you can both have an enjoyable time.

Also, orgasming isn’t the be all and end all of sex and masturbation. I know it’s easier said than done, but try not to solely focus on getting to the finish line. Enjoy all of the sensations along the way, because they can feel just as good as orgasming!

Good luck!

-Agony Auncle

Disclaimer: I am not a professional, just a student giving out advice for fun. I don’t claim any responsibility for the outcomes of the situations submitted to me.

Follow Agony Auncle on Instagram and submit your own questions here!

Featured Image Credit: Ciara Tait.

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Film, media and journalism student. I like writing about my inability to eat gluten.

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